Monday, June 13, 2011

Eliminating Negative Thinking

Okay, so no one got 100% on last week's quiz, but in case you were wondering, I included the answers below.  But, along with those answers, I have also included some tips from Trinny and Susannah's book What Your Clothes Say About You to address each underlying concern, one tip for your wardrobe, and one for your overall life.  I hope you find them motivating and helpful!  Enjoy!

Answers to last week's quiz:

What I say: "Black works with everything."
What I really feel inside: "Better safe than sorry."
Chapter 2 I have an image to uphold (for the stuffy, black suit workaholic)
  • Wardrobe Tip:  Every single day for a week, wear some thing from your closet that you don't usually wear.  Vary your colors as well as your outfits.  Count how many compliments you receive during that week.
  • Life Tip:  Enroll in a week-long or month-long evening class on a topic that is fun and enriching.  This will also give you an excuse to leave work on time instead of always staying late.

What I say: "These sunglasses cost $275."
What I really feel inside: "I'm terrified of my credit card bill."
Chapter 9 You're nobody unless you wear labels (for the label whore)
  • Wardrobe Tip:  Mix designer garments with less expensive items from retail stores or consignment or thrift shops for a truly individual look that is entirely of your own making.
  • Life Tip:  Everyday, list ten things you are grateful for.  You will be delighted by how it changes your perspective on life.

What I say: "If you've got it, flaunt it!"
What I really feel inside: "Well, I think that's all I have to offer."
Chapter 4 Look at me boys! (for the girl who feels the need to dress overtly sexy)
  • Wardrobe Tip:  Underwear belongs under your clothes.  It's main job is to support your outerwear and make you look great by concealing as much as it reveals.  Don't dress as though you're desperate.  Lap dancers are not sexy, merely available.
  • Life Tip:  Stop searching for your 'other half'.  Why settle for half?  You deserve a partner who is a whole human being.  Be your own best person.  Work on liking yourself, enjoying your own company and the life that you have right now.  Trust that the right partner for you will come along at the right time.

What I say:  "Comfort is the name of the game.  I like to feel well covered up."
What I really feel inside: "I don't feel comfortable showing my body."
Chapter 1 What's the point in making an effort anymore? (For the girl who has given up on style)
  • Wardrobe Tip:  Look carefully at the shape of your clothes - are your waistbands too high, your tops too low, your hems betraying aging  knees?  Can your arms take those puff sleeves, your legs those cropped pants?
  • Life Tip:  Even if you don't feel happy, act as if you do.  A smile is the best instant facelift.  Try smiling at ten strangers a day and you will be amazed at the response, but don't overdo it or people will think you're crazy!

What I say: "I've got more important things to think about than clothes."
What I really feel inside: "You might not take me seriously if I wear fancy clothes."
Chapter 10 I really don't care about clothes (For the woman who deliberately down plays her looks)
  • Wardrobe Tip:  There is a difference between well-fitted and too tight.  Wearing clothes that are fitted will make you seem slimmer and shapelier.
  • Life Tip:  Give yourself a compliment every morning.  It might make you laugh, but it will also make you feel good.

What I say: "I've always been a tomboy."
What I really feel inside: "I wouldn't consider myself an attractive woman."
Chapter 6 I hate wearing long skirts and dresses (for the tomboy at heart)
  • Wardrobe Tip:  Make it a rule to wear mascara every time you leave the house.
  • Life Tip:  Invite some girls to lunch, including one good friend who is supportive, and some other girls you have always felt slightly intimidated by.  Tell them about how you have felt about them in the past and ask them in turn about their fears.  You will be very surprised to find that they have vulnerable sides too. 

What I say: "Most of my money goes toward my children."
What I really feel inside: "You might think I'm selfish if I spent money on myself.  I'm a martyr to motherhood."
Chapter 3 My kids are my life, there's no time for me (for the mommy who always puts herself last)
  • Wardrobe Tip:  Clothes that are fitted and well cut are every bit as practical as shapeless, baggy ones.  It's just a question of learning what's right for your body shape.
  • Life Tip:  You are not perfect and nobody wants you to be.  Allow others to help you and make their own mistakes along the way.

What I say: "I don't believe that new clothes and a new hairstyle could make a difference to how I feel inside."
What I really feel inside: "I'm afraid of losing my identity."
Chapter 12 This has always been my best look (for those stuck in a time warp)
  • Wardrobe Tip:  Loosen up your look.  Learn to wear separates, colors, and accessories that coordinate but don't match.  Matching just makes you look dated.  
  • Life Tip:  Create a continuous awareness of your life by keeping a journal, even if you write for just 10 minutes each night about what you did that day and how you felt.  After a while, you may begin to see the old patterns of behavior and thinking that are keeping you stuck.  What small thing could you do differently today to change them?

What I say: "My clothes are traditional brands, very good quality."
What I really feel inside: "I have no idea about style so I stick to what I feel safe with."
Chapter 5 I dress old? But I am old!  (for the woman who dresses older than she really is)
  • Wardrobe Tip:  Get rid of hand-me-downs, update your shoes, and wear your jewelry in a more modern way (look at some current fashion magazines for direction).
  • Life Tip:  Pay attention to all the compliments you receive each day and how many ways you find to bat them away.  Spend the next week learning to accept compliments and generous gestures with a simple "thank you."

What I say: "I'm scared of drab colors."
What I really feel inside: "I'm scared you'll think I'm drab.
Chapter 7 Some people say I'm colorful, some say slightly eccentric (for the way-over-the-top wacky dresser)
  • Wardrobe Tip:  Wear the smallest patterns and sheerest fabrics on the largest parts of your body.  The big prints and chunkier fabrics will look great where you are slimmest.
  • Life Tip:  It is likely that the way you've been dressing is a reflection of the way you feel inside, in a word - chaotic.  Before you do anything else, take time each morning  for some peace and quiet, even if it's just for 10 minutes.

What I say: "I don't care what people say about me."
What I really feel inside: "I would be devastated if they said it to my face."
Chapter 10 I really don't care about clothes (see first listing of Chapter 10 above)

What I say: "I'm so busy all the time."
What I really feel inside: "If I'm always busy I don't have to think about my own life."
Chapter: 8 Well, I have been married for years (for the woman who is in a life rut)
  • Wardrobe Tip:  Update your "run-around" jeans with a pair that you can dress up and wear out to a restaurant with your husband by pairing them with a cute jacket and some casual heels.
  • Life Tip:  Get into the frame of mind of putting yourself first.  Make a commitment to putting aside 10% of your household budget each week for your makeover fund.  This money must be used to buy yourself a whole new look or to try something fun and adventurous you've always wanted to do.  It might mean the family may have to give up meat and become vegetarians for a week, but you've made sacrifices for them and so can they for you this time.  Build up your fund for three months and then go out and get that makeover or do that think you've been daydreaming about!

What I say: "I look as good in my daughter's clothes as she does."
What I really feel inside: "I need to reassure myself that I'm still young and trim."
Chapter 11 I can fit into my daughter's clothes - and I'm 45! (for the woman who is desperately hanging  on to her youth)
  • Wardrobe Tip:  Replace your jeans from the juniors department, your kiddy pastels, and your cheap and childish accessories with higher-end garments, classic colors, and more elegant accessories that bring out the woman in you.
  • Life Tip:  It's never too late to fulfill your dreams (instead of trying to live them vicariously through your daughter).  Make a start now to fulfill one of your dreams and take it a day at a time.  One action every week day equals five a week, which equals twenty per month.  Soon, you will reach your goal!

What I say: "I dress for me, not for anybody else."
What I really feel inside: "I don't care about anybody else."
Chapter 11  I can fit into my daughter's clothes - and I'm 45! (see above)

Source:  What Your Clothes Say About You, by Trinny Woodall and Susannah Constantine

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